So I know today is Friday. I also know that it is February. And I also know that it is the day after Valentine’s Day. What does all of this mean? This means that I should be writing a Style Sound-off. But I’m not. This means that I haven’t blogged in a little over a month. I know – I’ve been dying too. And this also means that I should have written something about sparkly, pink magical collections of couture for Cupid’s anniversary. But I didn’t. It seems like I’ve been breaking all the rules lately, at least concerning writing. Tell me, fellow blogger/reader/person, have you ever just not wanted to do something? Just not wanted to so bad that it has consumed you? Well that’s what has happened to me with writing. Every time I found a free moment to write all I wanted to do was either (a) fall asleep, (b) see how much has built up on my DVR that week because “me time” is scarce, or (c) do the things that I also don’t get to do aside from writing (i.e. play my guitar, listen to music, watch Elena Gilbert fall hopelessly in love with Damon Salvatore, etc. etc.). But what does this all really mean?
Me, sitting right on my bed at 11:19 a.m. writing a blog post, means that things get better. That whatever you feel was a passion that has faded away, is simply an a untouched memory waiting to be awakened – and it feels so good when it is. I never “found” time to write because my outlook on it was so bitter. I saw it as another task to cross off my list next to piles of English work and the projects that need to be completed ASAP. But that’s not what has changed. I still have piles of work to do and I still have projects to present soon but what has changed is my outlook. I now realize that looking at writing that way will ruin it for me and that looking at anything that sets me free as a cage of work will be destructive. And I guess that’s what truly makes a positive attitude: not procrastinating until your true passion is hitting you over the head, but to look past the tough stuff, do something for yourself and make the day brighter – even if it’s just for a little while.
So let me just recap some of the things I know again. I know that it’s Friday. I know that it is February. And I also know that it’s the day after Valentine’s Day. Seemingly even clearer, I know I love to write. I know I love to blog for all of you and for myself and I know that I loved watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower (which is what truly motivated me to write this post). I realized that the confines and the limits that I put myself in are what I made of it. And now, after I sign out from WordPress, I will have a huge smile on my face because I know that it doesn’t matter if I have one follower or one million. It doesn’t matter if I stick to a writing schedule or write once a week about my life because I wrote today and it felt so good. It always will. It felt like Charlie would say: “infinite”.